i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize