You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
