I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
