Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
