dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
