Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
