just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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