im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
