with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
