the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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