So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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