uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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