He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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