just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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