I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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