I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
