I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
