She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
