omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
