i just wanna soil my oats bro
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
