I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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