God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
