hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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