I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
