one might say we're banned from that church
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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