He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize