Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
