making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
