after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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