Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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