the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
