After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize