this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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