I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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