Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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