Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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