we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
