and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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