It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
