You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
