I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize