At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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