So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
