I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
