Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
