Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize