she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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