Actions speak louder than pants.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need to sanitize my soul.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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