...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
