oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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