Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
