i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That reminds me...we need to get swords
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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