he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize