Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
