im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
