I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
