he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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