i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
