I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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