Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
