Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
