Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
