i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
