i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
