Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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