i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
