I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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