Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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